Who you callin' a writer?

This week's assignment propelled me right out of my comfort zone. The judges want to know what writing means to me. Crap. You see, Mommy in Law writes "funny." But the reason(s) I write as Mommy in Law are not particularly funny. In fact, I often write to escape much of the un-funny stuff that I have to deal with in life. So, this leaves me with the option of: (1) boring my readers to tears; or (2) somehow making a serious post interesting enough for people to get through without falling asleep. Here's my stab at No. 2.

Writing has always been a hobby/form of entertainment/passion which I kept to myself. I never considered that I would have an audience for my writing. Not that I thought my writing was bad, but just that it was mine--MY personal thoughts and ideas. So, why would anyone else give a hoot? The only writings I would share were school assignments or letters to friends. The rest were kept in private journals or on scraps of paper that I would throw in drawers or crumple up and throw away (we didn't have computers then). As much as I loved telling my stories and as much as I always communicated best in writing, I never considered myself a "writer" by any means. It was just something that always came easily to me and was the best way I found to express myself. Some kids in school were good at math or drawing or sports. I could write.

Then in high school, I had to write a poem for English class. The lazy teenager that I was, I made a deal with a classmate (let's call her Tracy) that I'd write her poem for her if she would do my math homework. She agreed. So, I wrote two poems: hers and mine. I felt proud yet pissed when the teacher announced that Tracy's poem had received the only A+ and was the best in the class (mine got an A-). He then had Tracy read "her" poem to the class. I realized then that perhaps I had a marketable gift that I should not share so readily. Still, I would never consider myself a writer in the true sense of the word.

In college, I took a creative writing course. I wrote a story for the final exam. The professor asked to see me privately. All I could think as I walked to his office was: "Oh shit, he thinks I plagiarized!" No, I was wrong. He said that he thought I should try to get the story published in a teen magazine. He even offered to help me. I said "Thanks, but no thanks." I did not even want to try because I was just an 18 year old college student, not a professional writer.

I finished law school and for the first time ever became an official paid writer (just not the kind that tells fun stories). I was a persuasive writer. For over a decade, I wrote things like this most days: "The Court of Appeals has made clear that a plaintiff may not state a cause of action against a third party beneficiary to a contract unless there is privity and/or a complete assignment of rights." (By the way, the last sentence is total made up nonsense...so don't quote me). Legal writing must be concise and argumentative and very un-funny. It's the absolute opposite of how Mommy in Law writes. But still, it comes pretty easily to me. Even though I wrote all day every day, I was a lawyer, not a writer.

One day, I joined Facebook. I started posting status updates for my four Facebook friends, usually telling them something that happened to me that day and adding a humorous twist. They loved it, and asked for more. So I did one status update a day practically everyday for two years, and amassed many more friends. Many told me I brightened their day with my humor, and that they looked forward to reading my posts each day. Still others asked me if there was a way for me to write more than just the one or two lines...like a book or a column in a newspaper or magazine.  It was wonderful to hear that people liked what I was writing. Still, I would always say things like: "Thank you, but no. I'm not a writer. I just like to make people laugh."

Then last year, my mother became ill and was given a matter of months to live. This news came just after hearing of a similar diagnosis for my mother-in-law. There were times when I would sit crying for what felt like hours and other times that I simply could not get out of bed because of the debilitating sadness. I found that instead of booze, pills or cigarettes, I turned to writing. I would write just for myself. When I sat at my computer writing, the pain would dissipate for a while. Writing was the only thing that could hold my attention for more than a few minutes. Even though I never wrote about the pain I was going through, the process was incredibly cathartic for me. So, I printed out my over 600 Facebook posts and one by one, started to expand them into paragraphs. I didn't show them to anyone, but saved them on my computer. The funnier I could make the pieces, the better I felt.

As I sat by my mother at her deathbed, and listened to her tell me about the things she regretted not having done, I came to an important realization: We're just passing through this place (well, most of us anyway). At the end, I don't want to regret that I did not spend enough time doing the things that gave me so much comfort and happiness, even if they never produced a dime. Writing was at the top of that list.

So, I met with some professionals, got some positive feedback, and launched my blog using the pieces I had written and stored on my computer. From the blog came a freelance writing job with a local newspaper. I post to my blog once or twice a week. Some days I'm absolutely positive that I am the only one who reads it. Then other days, I will be astounded to see that I've had over 2000 page views. Some readers are silent and some leave comments. I love the feedback, but even without it, I wouldn't stop. 

My goal is to publish a book or several (and sell some copies to someone other than my Grandma). But, even if that never happens, something amazing has come from all of this: I finally consider myself a writer.

http://www.mommyinlaw.com/


Judges Comments:

"Well, it was kinda long... I'll say that much. And it told a story, but I'm not sure I really felt the PASSION in it. You know what I mean? I know you hated this assignment to begin with, and that is was hard. I liked the story, but I just didn't really feel it."
Heather Reese, My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream

"I'm terrible with names so it is easy for me to always be surprised when I'm judging blog posts as I never know who's I'm reading until I catch a link or a reference in the post.

When I started reading yours, I had no idea it was you because the humor was barely there. The writing was excellent in tone and style, but it didn't feel like one of 'your' posts.

I do love the ongoing flow of the narrative about how you describe finally feeling like a writer, but you did that at the very end of an extremely lengthy post. That leaves your audience seeing "I'm not a writer" numerous times.

When you are doing a competition where you want to be considered a writer, best to leave that out and just tell your story.

I liked the post overall, but it's not your best work and put across one message while trying to sell us on another."
Allison Duncan, SVALLIE.NET: The Nerd Connection

"Yes, it was long. But at the same time, it did give me more of a feel for how your writing started. It was much more matter-of-fact than your writing usually is, but to me it showed a different side - that you can be serious and really explain yourself (kind of comes with the whole lawyer gig, but I think you know what I mean).

I think that it was a very good post, but I definitely did miss your humor!"
Amy, Non-Stop Mom 

"Yes, it was long, but I get it. As a Criminal Justice major, I laughed at the bit about legal writing because it was so true. I agree that this post was dry without your usual humor and wit, but this assignment was looking at the more emotional side your writing." 
T. Rojas, from Motherhood: The Definition of Insanity