B.I. Insider: Coffee Talk with Molly & Jenn

Random Thoughts n' Lotsa Coffee                      Crazed in the Kitchen

During a recent rehearsal—or as we writers call it, editing session—I found my inspiration lacking. Thinking I might find it in a big, steamy cup of coffee, I headed to Idol’s catering kitchen. As I rounded the corner, I heard a child’s voice singing. “Old McPoopy had a poop. Poop poop poop….” Grinning, I walked in and found a crazed-looking Molly—her blog IS named “Crazed in the Kitchen,” after all—feeding her two young boys breakfast.

Figuring that Molly needed coffee as much as I did, I poured us both a cup and sat down. Molly’s son William greeted me with a well-aimed Cheerio off my forehead as Matthew finished his song: “…poop poop VAGINA!” I laughed at Molly’s horrified expression and fished the Cheerio out of my coffee. In truth, all of the Idol contestants had been singing that song since Molly had written about it—over and over in our heads. As I handed Molly her coffee, Justin Mannato, one of the Blogger Idol stagehands, walked in to get her boys. They squealed with delight and grabbed his hands—the poor guy was taking all of the contestants’ spawn to the zoo for the day. “Bye, Mommy! Bye, Jenn!” they called as they pulled Justin out the door.

No longer looking so crazed, Molly settled in with her coffee and we got to chatting.

Molly: I have been reading your blog “Random Thoughts n’ Lotsa Coffee” and I have to say you have been through a hell of a year. What made you start blogging about it?

Jenn: Honestly, Molly, I started this on a whim one day. I was still reeling from the deaths of my grandmother and my mentor, both from cancer. I was dealing with a mother that suffered from bi-polar disorder and was trying to make heads or tails of life. I needed an outlet for all the random thoughts in my head and went to the one thing I knew would help—writing. The initial outpouring from readers was astounding. I discovered with my own form of gritty inspirational writing that I was not only helping settle the thoughts in my head, but I was helping others at the same time too. Their comments fueled me to dig deeper, to write about life in a way people can relate to. Life isn’t always sunshine, rainbows, and puppies. Sometime life is hard; it is isolating and lonely, and people forget how strong they are. How worthy of happiness they are. My writing helps to remind them, and at the same time to remind myself, that all of us can handle whatever life throws our way.

Molly: I can see why so many people are touched by your writing. You have a way of crafting messages that really inspire people to improve their own lives. I especially love how you begin most of your posts with a quote. There are a few quotes on your blog I should probably write on a Post-It and tape to my mirror so I can read them each morning!

Jenn: Speaking of huge life changes, you recently made the decision to leave your teaching career for a career in housewifery and stay-at-home mothering. You have far more guts than I to take on such a huge undertaking. What is it like?

Molly: Well, it’s different—that’s for sure. The pressures of lesson planning, commuting, and, um, showering are certainly less. But leaving teaching, even temporarily, was a tough decision for me. I loved teaching, but it’s not an easy job—even with the holidays and summers off. I don’t like to do things half-assed, and once I had my first son I felt like both my parenting AND my teaching were suffering from my split attention. (Wait—if I was doing both half-assed, does that mean I had one whole ass, or no ass? Hmmmm…I never was good at math…)

Jenn: *ahem*

Molly: Sorry. As I was saying, now that I’m home, if my boys get sick my husband and I don’t have to do Rock, Paper, Scissors over who’s going to miss work to stay home and take care of them. I’m no longer doing the grab-the-kids-from-daycare-jam-them-in-the-car-and-drive-like-a-bat-out-of-hell-to-Gymboree thing every week. And if, heaven forbid, we run out of pumpkin cereal bars the night before a Cereal Bar Day (you know, just Monday and Friday or the kids would eat nothing else), I can pop in to Trader Joe’s in the morning before anyone is the wiser. It’s not that life is less stressful for me now, it’s just that it’s only ONE kind of stressful. And that’s a bit easier for me to handle.

Jenn: So basically what you are telling me is—you facebook, eat ice cream, and lounge around in your pajamas all day? I kid. I think you went from 2 full-time jobs down to one.  However, you left the one with the paid vacations, weekends off, and sick time. Now that’s love. Your boys are very lucky.

Molly: Aw, thank you! And, um, you’re not exactly wrong on the pajamas part. Now, I read in your post "Tailgate Wisdom" that you speak Sarcasm, Profanity, and Male. I like to think that I speak Sarcasm, Profanity, and Child, but I’d love to learn more about speaking Male. What would you say is the most important lesson when learning this mysterious and foreign language?

Jenn: Ha! Breaking their attention from my boobs and getting them talking was the hardest part. Not really, but it helps. Honestly, the most important lesson is understanding when a man says something, anything really, it is just as he says it. There are no hidden meanings, no hidden agenda. Guys say what they mean. We as women try and put a different spin on their words, but when a guy says, “I’m hungry,” he really is simply hungry. When he says he is upset because the Red Sox lost, he really is upset over that. Not any less in love with you, not thinking about breaking up with you, or mad that you turned his boxers pink in the wash again. Guys tend to speak as they think and understanding this helps to avoid unnecessary confusion. It also helps when you say exactly what you are thinking. Don’t make them guess. They really do believe the line, “I’m fine,” and tend to leave it at that. Poor guys never know what hits them when we freak out.

Molly: I get it. You’re the Guy Whisperer. I see a business opportunity for you here, Jenn. I’ll bet tons of men and women would pay good money to have a translator like you help them communicate with each other. I don’t suppose you’d like to stop by my house tonight while I tell my husband about why I won’t be doing my family’s laundry anymore?

Jenn: Molly! You are a genius. I see a future “Dear Jenn” blog in Cosmo.

Molly: I can say, ”I knew her when.”

 Jenn:  I loved your post the other day about your grandmother being a stone-cold killer and your Arizona memories. I am sorry about the loss of your mom; I lost mine as well almost a year ago. Do you ever wish you could have one more conversation with her? I have often thought about that myself. What would you tell her or ask her about?

Molly: Oh, Jenn, I think about that all the time, too. Of course, first and foremost I’d want to tell her about my kids. She was a big fan of big personalities and I know she’d love to hear about their many antics. The other thing I’d want to tell her is thank you. I didn’t get what mothers do and feel for their children until I had kids of my own. I look back on my childhood now in a whole new light—seeing it from the point of view of my mom. Sure, she had her faults and our relationship was often strained, but I have a whole new appreciation for everything she did for me and my brother—especially considering she was a single mom. I hate that I didn’t get that while she was alive, and I really wish I could tell her that I get it now.

Jenn: I get that. A mother-daughter relationship should be one of the easiest relationships in life. But, alas, it never seems to be that way. It is something I will never understand.

Molly: What about you, Jenn? What would you say to your mom if you had one more chance?

Jenn: I actually have been working on a piece for Random Thoughts about it. I think if given the chance, I would look her in the eye and ask her why? Why instead of fighting her illness and getting better did she decide to end her life? I want to ask her if she regretted her decision or if she had found the peace that eluded her in life. I would tell her that I am no longer as angry, but that I am still so sad. And that I miss her and wish she had not given up on herself and her life.  Then I would hug her and tell her that I love her.  It is still pretty raw and with the first anniversary of her death coming up—I find myself thinking about it a lot. I really want to hug her. Sigh.

Molly: I can’t tell you how many times I have dreamed at night about seeing my mom and giving her one last hug. Your blog post “Forgiveness”—about dealing with your mom’s suicide—struck a chord with me, though my mom died of cancer. It is such a beautifully-written description of the need we have to forgive in order to heal after these kinds of losses.

As Molly wiped a rogue tear from her cheek, I glanced down at my now-empty coffee cup, and one of my favorite quotes came to mind. “A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.” I got up and gave Molly a hug—my new friend. I felt a spark as the inspiration I had been missing fired up.

I realized something: This is exactly what “Blogger Idol” is all about. Digging deep, finding inspirations outside of our comfort zones, and touching our readers in ways we never thought possible. Excited, I headed back to rehearsal.

 Blogger Idol airs Wednesdays at Noon CST. Click here to vote.

From the Judges

No zombies, no porn? What is this world coming to!? With that being said, I really enjoyed this interview. While there were a few awkward moments, it was mostly productive and made me want to learn more about both of you. I felt like I was in that coffee shop, trying to look away so you didn't notice that I was listening in on your intimate conversation. That is exactly how I should feel when reading an interview. I want to feel like I am there, like I am a part of it, even if you didn't acknowledge the fact that there were zombies lurking in the dark corners. Good job on this one.
-Freetail Therapy

The two of you seemed to have a great rapport, and it showed in the interview.

Jenn, by opening yourself up in such a personal way, you took a big risk. But the way you treated the reference to your mother's death drew me in, and made read on.

There were a few awkward transitions, and a few lines in the interview where my attention began to wane, but I'm glad I stuck it out to the end. I feel like I made two new friends today. 
-The Lucky Mom

Very creative take to your post ladies, it feels like I am reading a movie treatment and not a blog post. I can picture the two of you sharing that cup of coffee while discussing your lives, loves and blogs. I think you did a wonderful job moving from topic to topic, sharing enough to make the interview personal with out being over-sentimental. Referencing specific blog posts really works with this interview because you are openly discussing the fact that you are bloggers are in Blogger Idol. Since the interview is so personal I would have wanted to see pictures that were personal to illustrate your thoughts more but the pictures that you did pick were fitting. Nice job.
-I Need a Playdate

I liked the way you approached this assignment. It definitely read like an episode of Coffee Talk.
I do appreciate the openness of the conversation. I look for this kind of emotion in the blogs I regularly read, but for whatever reason, nothing that was discussed really drew me in.
Overall, it was a fine post. Good work. 
-Pinwheels and Poppies

-Mommy In Law

As I have a BA in public and oral history, I understand just how difficult interviewing can be. Conducting interviews takes years of experience and practice, and it is difficult even when face-to-face. This assignment became even more complex with the added element of distance. Online collaboration is no easy task; however, Jenn and Molly’s piece was written in a manner that effectively closed that gap. The authors could have been separated by thousands of miles, but I did not sense this.

The conversation flowed smoothly and the piece was well formatted. I learned some deeply personal things about each of you, which created a sense of familiarity and understanding of life’s struggles. I applaud you for pulling this reader in and making me feel your remorse for things left unsaid and sadness for time lost. It is this portion of the piece that draws me in.
You both described each other’s blogs well. However, the paragraph by Jenn, which discusses the stone-cold killer alongside the death of Molly’s mother, might have been more effective had it only focused on one of these topics. I really wanted to know why your grandmother was a stone-cold killer; it is the short shrift on details like this one that would have convinced me to perhaps click on the link to that post and visit the blog; this point takes me to my criticism.

Despite the good connections between the two of you, the interview was less successful at attracting me to want to read more. The interview fell short when the two of you relied more on sarcasm and witty banter that read more like an inside joke than an interview.

Interviews should lead a reader; your interview seemed to congratulate each other on certain posts both of you loved or enjoyed, but you do not lead the reader into details that could attract someone new to the blog.

The discussion of what you might say to your mother was probably the closest example of a detail-oriented approach in the interview; it pulled me in. The rest of it was a bit dull and uninteresting.

I do have to say that the writing within the conversation was good; despite one or two errors in punctuation and mechanics, I did not find any error to be distracting from the actual reading. The pre- and post- information, on the other hand, did little to draw me into the subject. That information should have been used to effectively set up the subjects of the interview rather than act as a mini-dialogue for the poop anecdote.
-Conversate is not a word and other abuses of the English language (Guest Judge)