French Exit

www.dadandburied.com

I could be writing this in French. Or even in France. But no, I'm too much of a - how do you say? - chicken?

Let's back up a bit.

When I got to college, I had already been taking French classes for most of my life. Seriously, every year from the second grade all the way through high school, I took French. For some bizarre reason, my elementary school taught French. (Not Spanish. Not French and Spanish. Not even French or Spanish. Just French.) This was 1985; it made little sense. The only French person my classmates and I had even heard of was Andre the Giant, and he was not a good role model for someone learning the language.

Regardless, when I got to junior high and had to choose between continuing with French or switching to Spanish, I stayed with "the language of love," all the way through high school. I eventually entered college with the idea that I would parlay all those years of asking "peux-j'aller au cabinet?" into spending a semester in France during my junior year. 

It didn't pan out. 

Why not? Well, it was a combination of things. The application process was, if not exactly "highly selective," then at least a huge pain in the derriere. On top of that, I was very busy with my typical American course load, not to mention very busy having fun living off-campus and hanging out in Boston. But none of those excuses pass muster, really, because when I'm honest with myself, I know that the real reason I didn't go was simply that I was afraid. Not afraid of French people; let's be serious. But afraid of other things, like that I wouldn't be able to hack the language or that I'd be homesick for my friends, family, and hamburgers, or that I'd be missing out on typical junior year shenanigans. So, in an act of self-sabotage, I missed the application deadline and stayed stateside. Ironically, in avoiding going to France I was being very French: cowardly, and amazing in bed.

Now, looking back, not spending part of my junior year studying in France is the one decision I regret more than any other in my life.

I wasted a rare opportunity to live, essentially for free, in a foreign country. I blew a chance to totally immerse myself in a culture radically different than my own; to drink French wine, eat French food, meet French girls, hear French music and smoke French cigarettes and; to see where they filmed National Lampoon's European Vacation. Mostly, I wasted a chance to get out of my comfort zone and gain a new perspective, on my country, my lifestyle, my education and even myself.

But for all the regrets I have about passing up that incredible opportunity, my life since has worked out pretty well. The experience, and the lingering regret, even helped teach me something about little old moi.

Because it wasn't the first time I'd let silly fears prevent me from doing something I otherwise really wanted to do. As a kid, I didn't take karate because I was scared of having an evil sensai (stupid Cobra Kai!). As a high schooler, I shied away from taking solos in jazz band because I was scared of the spotlight. And as an adult I almost let similar fears ruin my entire life, by driving me to back out of arrangements to have my girlfriend move up to Boston and in with me.

I say "almost" only because, after years of living with the knowledge that fear had caused me to blow several other opportunities in my life, including that once-in-a-lifetime study abroad experience, I finally learned to face it, shrug them off and go full-speed ahead. So I swallowed my anxiety and made room in my apartment for ma cherie. And guess what? We eventually got married and now have a beautiful son with a French-sounding name. COINCIDENCE?

Had I taken the plunge and gone to France that spring some fifteen years ago, things might be very different. I might have fallen in love with France, or with someone from France, and I might have stuck around. I might be living there even now, writing this from my flat in Paris, hanging out with Johnny Depp. My French wife might smoke cigarettes, find Jerry Lewis funny and not shave her armpits. I might not even have a son, or, even worse, I might have a son that wears a beret!

So all in all, I made out okay. At the very least, I dodged a bullet by not having to name my blog "Papa et Enterré." The pun doesn't even make sense in French.

 

 

From the Judges 

This was a very good post. It was very consistent. Personally, I might have put some translations in parenthesis just for clarification. I think that having to decipher things, and not be able to read smoothly, kind of took away from the post a little bit. I like the bits of humor you interjected into the post though. I think this is one of your better posts since you've been in the contest!
-Tessa Taboo

This post is technically well written and flows well. Unfortunately, it just wasn't very interesting to me. I had a difficult time staying tuned in. I liked the humor interspersed throughout, and I love the Cobra Kai reference.
-From the Bungalow

I like that you use humor, even for a more "serious" topic. It makes your writing distinctly yours.

Overall, I liked your post. It didn't keep my attention as much as some of your other posts during this competition, though.
-The Spaghetti Westerner

Kudos for the Cobra Kai reference and the humor throughout. It seems an odd choice that going to France would be your life changer, but I think you made your case well.
-SooperDad Blog of Awesomeness

For the most part, I really enjoyed this post. There were a couple of itty bitty technical things that I saw, but honestly they would fall more into the "pet peeve" category for me rather than the "error" category. I did feel that it was a bit long and drawn out, but I also have the attention span of a gnat.

All in all, it was a great post!
-Non-Stop Mom

France? You should talk to my husband! That is his dream too. Love the Andre the Giant reference. I really liked this post, more humor than I have seen in the others and even though you didn't make it to France, you seem to be very comfortable in your life, and hey- a kiddo with a cool French name-BONUS!
-Red Vines and Red Wine (Guest Judge)