By Christi
Once upon a time, there was a kind, loving mommy blogger. She loved her husband. She loved her children. She loved her day-to-day life. So she blogged, eager to share her joy with friends, family, and anyone else who cared. Life was good for this mommy blogger. Then one day, she decided it was time to challenge herself. To break out of her mold. To try something new. So, she entered a blogging contest.
Now, the ogres had presented her with a new challenge, a new topic: "If I could be the opposite sex for a day..."
The mommy blogger balked. Her mind began considering all the possibilities:
Experience sex as a man? No, too obvious.
Eat anything she (he?) wanted while drinking beer and sitting on the couch watching TV? No, she already does that too often anyway.
Hang out all day in the men's locker room at the gym, hoping not to get beaten up for staring too much? No, too creepy.
Alas! She did not know what to do. She worried and fretted. She snapped at her children and sneered at her husband. She was unable to sleep, fearing the recurring nightmare in which she found herself bloodied and battered, trampled by a stampeding horde of ogres.
Then, one evening, after snuggling and breastfeeding her baby, she dozed off in her favorite armchair. It was a light slumber, the kind where reality and dream mingle. It was during this jumbled state of sleep that she noticed it: a tiny light flittering in through the open window. It danced on the breeze like a child's bubble in springtime. It approached, its gleam intensified, and it grew larger... and larger... and larger.
And there she was: Fairy Godmother to All Mommy Bloggers. She was luminescent. Her flower-print muumuu was lovingly covered in baby spit-up, her tousled hair was hastily pulled back with a scrunchie, and her full, voluptuous breasts swayed as she moved across the room. She was a vision of love and beauty.
The mommy blogger wept in reverence and adoration as Fairy Godmother silently handed her a small stack of photographs, a glass of red wine, and a box of bonbons. Fairy Godmother's pouty, chapped lips curved up in a slight smile and she winked, before flittering away again, exiting the room as gracefully as she had entered.
After devouring the bonbons, the mommy blogger sipped her wine and turned her attention to the photographs in her hand. She was shocked by what she saw:
The mommy blogger shuddered, quickly finished off her glass of wine, and then returned to the pictures:
The mommy blogger wiped a tear from her cheek, silently cursed the evil ways of ogres, and closed her eyes. Sometime later, when the moon was high in the sky, she awoke suddenly. Remembering the Fairy Godmother, the wine, and the scrumptious bonbons, she looked around. The pictures were nowhere to be found.
Unconcerned, the mommy blogger rose from her favorite armchair and walked to her computer, resolute and determined. She sat down, hands hovering briefly over the keyboard, and quickly wrote her response to the ogres: "If I could be the opposite sex for a day... I would choose not to be. If I HAD to be the opposite sex for a day... I would pray for sundown".
... and the mommy blogger lived happily ever after.
image credits:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/neweyes/59088660/sizes/m/in/photostream/
Judges Comments:
"Technically this post covered the assignment, but just barely.
With that being said...your writing is profound. Your use of words to illustrate is stunning. This sentence: "It danced on the breeze like a child's bubble in springtime" blew me away because I. Saw. It. Wonderfully written."
T. Rojas, from Motherhood: The Definition of Insanity
"i agree it covered the assignment just enough. with that said, AUH.MAY.ZING. i was interested and wanted more, it was beautifully written! good job! :) "
Erica, from Good Job Momma
"I'm with the other judges on this, it barely covered the assignment but the writing in and of itself was really beautiful and painted quite the picture!"
Random Girl, from Random Girl Blog
Judges Comments:
"Technically this post covered the assignment, but just barely.
With that being said...your writing is profound. Your use of words to illustrate is stunning. This sentence: "It danced on the breeze like a child's bubble in springtime" blew me away because I. Saw. It. Wonderfully written."
T. Rojas, from Motherhood: The Definition of Insanity
"i agree it covered the assignment just enough. with that said, AUH.MAY.ZING. i was interested and wanted more, it was beautifully written! good job! :) "
Erica, from Good Job Momma
"I'm with the other judges on this, it barely covered the assignment but the writing in and of itself was really beautiful and painted quite the picture!"
Random Girl, from Random Girl Blog