Children are not an inconvenience. They are people.

 spaghettiwesterner.blogspot.com

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There are plenty of opinions out there about the so-called “no-kids-allowed movement.” As “brat bans” are being considered not just for high-end restaurants, but also movie theaters, first-class cabins on airlines, and even public areas in condominium communities, some people are up in arms that kids (and, by proxy, their parents) are being treated as second-class citizens, while others are reveling in the peace and quiet they have been craving when they eat dinner out.

I’m not going to take issue with these businesses today, though. They are simply reacting to an unfortunate attitude that seems to be more and more prevalent: that kids in public are a nuisance.

A couple months ago, two grown men stood up and shouted at me, calling me selfish and stupid. My offense? Parking my child’s stroller in an aisle so we could have lunch. He wasn’t screaming or crying or running around. He was just sitting, eating pizza, being pretty darn well-behaved if you ask me. It just so happened that we were blocking one of more than a dozen aisles that people used to move around in the food court, and that was apparently a heinous crime.

We’re not talking about a five star restaurant. This was at my local Costco warehouse.

Sure, there have always been places that don’t allow kids like bars and strip joints. The thing is, though, those establishments are trying to protect children, not to please whiny adults. When it’s a matter of keeping kids from seeing things inappropriate for their age(like R-rated movies) or keeping them from things that could be dangerous (alcohol and smoking), I’m all for kid-free zones.

I know, I know: Kids are wild. And obnoxious. And loud. If you think my kid is annoying, come to my house between 6:00 and 8:00 p.m. Trust me, I get it. But for people to act like kids don’t belong ANYWHERE is just too much for me.

What about the girl who feels like she needs to talk 20 decibels louder than everyone in the line at Starbucks just because she’s on a cell phone? Or the snob who shouts at his waitress repeatedly because she just can’t seem to remember that he wants one and a half slices of lemon in his water? Or the two adult men who don’t hesitate to publicly berate and humiliate a woman and her baby? I have a hard time believing that their behavior warrants them free reign in the world, while I can’t fly first-class with my toddler. If only I could ban all the people that annoy me from all the places I go…

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The thing that bothers me most is that every single one of those people who doesn’t want a kid sitting next to them at a restaurant was, at one time, a kid themselves. And I would be willing to put money on the fact that they threw a fit in public at least once, even the best-behaved of them. Just ask their mothers.

What it boils down to is that if kids (as a whole) are rude and ill-behaved (which seems to be the justification for this attitude), it’s because of us: the adults in this world. Their behaviors are a reflection of our society: our selfishness, our laziness, and our disrespect for other people. But the solution isn’t to make them unwelcome.

So have kids or don’t have kids, I don’t care. But, please, before you damn me for being a terrible mother when my son starts crying in the grocery store, try – instead – to picture him as the guy who might someday run your business or the man who might one day cure your cancer or the person who might eventually be wiping your rear when you’re too old to live on your own. And cut us some slack.


Judges Comments:

"amen. i was nodding my head the whole time reading this. i've had countless number of dirty looks, scoffs, excuss me miss but your kids...

it would be great world if we all could just co-mingle with out the attitude. haha, lets keep the peace! :)
great post. loved reading it. "
Erica, from Good Job Momma  

"I have never heard of any restaurants or locations that have considered this, but it makes me just pissed off to even know that there are places that would even consider this. I mean, yes, kids can be obnoxious at times, but so can adults (I have seen many of them as well)! Great post! "
Chris, From Dad of Divas 


"The line where you mentioned banning all the annoying people from the places you go... I think that said it best.  What pisses me off about all of this, is that it includes MY family as well.  We have gone through great struggles to make sure our kids have manners in public, and respect the people around them.  Four kids, ages 7, 6, 2, and 9 months.... and dang near every time we go out to eat, someone from a table nearby stops and tells us that we must be great parents, because our kids behave impeccably.  But if restaurants start putting this ban in place, I will be screwed.  I can rarely EVER get a babysitter, which is why the kids always go out to eat with us.  I can understand maybe, asking a family to leave if their kids are being a huge disruption.... but banning them altogether... well... they might as well be racist or something.  That is bad for them, and bad for us. "
Heather, from My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream