Blogger Idol Assignment Blog

 You all know the saying, “If you can’t say anything nice,don’t say anything at all.” In my tweaked version, it reads, “If there are thoughts you shouldn’t say or things you shouldn’t do, write them down, because chances are excellent that someone will read them and agree wholeheartedly with you.”

There’s this kid I know. Practically anonymous for three-quarters of a school year, and then a bunch of us from lit theory went to watch Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland after reading the books in class.

He was there, and two reasons stand out as to why I don’t remember the film. One: it’s a Tim Burton production, i.e., forgettable. Two: I got to sit next to this guy and realized what I’d been missing—one of the most delicious smelling men I’d ever been lucky enough to sniff!! After the movie was over, I went home positive that his fragrance was either a total fluke or that I was dreaming.

The following weekend, our Shakespeare professor forced us to attend the university’s production of Love’s Labour’s Lost which is kind of one of the worst plays ever. (Sorry,Shakes-sizzle. Can’t win ‘em all.) Yummy-smelling boy and I agreed to meet up and power through it together, because who wants to watch one of the worst plays alone? And it was bad. The mikes were faulty, the faux-British accents were the faux-iest, and the physical comedy was nothing short of obnoxious. What else could I do, but turn my attention to my play-watching partner?

If I thought he had smelled good before, that night changed my mind. He was not one of the most delicious smelling men I’d ever been lucky enough to sniff. Not he. What had I been thinking, giving him such an inadequate title?

No. He was THE most delicious smelling man that the gods thought I was deserving enough to sniff. His scent made me go internally bonkers. Leaning forward to concentrate on the play? More like leaning sideways and inhaling. Remaining silent? Hah. I was whispering comments so he’d have to get closer to hear me.

I was sneaky and creepy. And I wanted someone else to know, because maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t the only one who was a closeted social deviant.

I couldn’t grab his arm, gaze into his eyes, and say, “I have no clue what’s going on right now or what happened last week, because when I smell you, the insides of my nostrils quiver and all logic flees from my brain!” I just don’t think that would have gone across well.

Furthermore, I couldn’t tap the stranger next to me and whisper-shout,“See this guy? He smells like Cary Grant and Rock Hudson’s love child would look like! I need you to sniff him and tell me I’m not dreaming him up.” That also would have been inappropriate.

But I had to tell somebody, and since I couldn’t say it out loud, I saved it until I could scribble it down. I guess that’s what writing is to me. It’s being able to share the things that aren’t okay to voice aloud. And not just the things that aren’t socially appropriate, but also the things I’m not brave enough to say with my mouth. Sometimes, those things get saved for a private journal, an unsent letter, or a story that will never be published, but if you’re lucky you get to read them on my blog.

Blogging is the most gratifying outlet I’ve ever stumbled upon. Three years ago Chester the Best-er was a mere play-by-play of my day, but I realized I had more fun writing (and others had more fun reading) what people, face-to-face or side-by-side with me, interpreted as cheerful silence. Suddenly, readers were coming out of the woodwork, exclaiming, “You feel that way too! When I read your posts, it’s like you’re reading my mind!” And, in case you were wondering,there are several people out there (as far as Australia!) who confessed to being creepy and smelling people without being caught. Rock on, creepers.

However, not every post of mine is so acclaimed. Some arecompletely ignored. That’s okay, because every now and then, it’s golden. Beingtold you’re bringing the world together because you could put your everyawkward thought, sincere feeling, and funny observation into a story thatrelates to everyone is the best feeling (and the greatest compliment) in theworld.

That’s writing to me. Giving a voice, not only to friendsand strangers alike, but also to myself. And my ultimate goal is that,hopefully, one day, I’ll be able to speak the words that I write:

“Marry me, Yummy-Smelling Boy?”


http://chezprez.blogspot.com


Judges Comments:

"I love this. It is so cute, but it gets the point across. I love the way you told the story. And the way you gave me something to have my husband read, because he just doesn't understand why I am so obsessed with how he smells....lol. Welcome to the contest Chess!"
Heather Reese, My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream
 
"*Applause*

I loved this post. It was funny, witty, able to pull emotional strings while making a point, and well written.

Definitely one of the best in the assignment. Well done." 
Allison Duncan, SVALLIE.NET: The Nerd Connection

"I like. At first, I thought that the story was getting a little long, but the more I read, the more I understood exactly what you were saying. You definitely nailed the assignment.

Great job! "
Amy, Non-Stop Mom 

"This was a great first post for you. Like was previously mentioned, it was a little long in the beginning, but I held on. I completely agree that some men smell aaahhhhmazing!"
T. Rojas, from Motherhood: The Definition of Insanity