Gypsy Wisdom: From Each Other's Eyes

Random Thoughts n' Lotsa Coffee Blog

Men don’t necessarily have it any easier than women. It’s just different. When women understand this, it will open up a whole new level 
of appreciation. ~J.V. Manning

The other night my husband and I decided to stroll through the local country fair. As we walked among the food vendors and games of a chance we happened upon a small stall tucked in the corner. Inside sat a small woman.

A sign said “Fortunes $20”

Sitting at a small round table draped in deep red silken cloth and dressed in gypsy garb. She appeared older than the hills. White wispy hair shrouded her weathered face and cascaded down her back. Gnarled hands sat in her lap as her emerald eyes stared at us. Finally she spoke: “You came to me each with a question in your mind and a worry in your hearts.” She paused and thought for a moment, continuing she said; “What you both need to see- to experience is life as the other person completely.  With this understanding you will see how you each balance the other. Your strengths are her weaknesses and her strengths are yours. See the world as the each other would. “ 

We thanked her and left. She had inadvertently hit the proverbial nail on the head. My husband just smirked and said she got lucky. Typical married shit and all. I wasn't so sure but let it go. We finished out the evening at the sausage stand and headed home. 

Tired we headed to bed as soon as we got home.  As I laid there the Gypsy’s words echoing in my thoughts as I drifted off. If only it was that easy I thought as I fell asleep. 

Waking the next morning I had to undeniable urge it scratch…well everywhere. Weird. Rolling over onto my back I noticed the comforter all tented up around my waist. I reached to slap it down and was overcome with intense pain. What the hell?  Momentarily blinded by the pain I laid there stunned. As I slowly gather my wits and realized I still needed to itch, I reached down. HOLY SHIT! Hairy chest-flat hairy chest? I explored further… Ohhh hell no what is that? Well I knew what "it" was. I just knew I didn't have one. As I pulled up the comforter and looked down at—my husband’s body? Suddenly the Gypsy’s words rang in my head. “What you both need to see- to experience is life as the other person completely.” I would say this was as complete as you can get.  Realizing my husband was awake I looked over to him. Sure that my freaked out gaze would mirror his. Nope. He was staring fascinated at the sudden appearance of boobs on his chest. Knowing that would keep him busy for awhile I got up. I had to pee. This should be interesting and convenient; as it would be the first time I didn't have to sit down.  This is where my first look into the life of my husband came to play; peeing first thing in the morning is not easy. My aim was definitely off and I know understood why he missed all the time.  

Looking into the mirror and seeing him, yet having my thoughts was disconcerting. I needed coffee and set off for the kitchen. Walking with the new addition between my legs was uncomfortable as hell.  I kept reaching down and adjusting it. Epiphany number 2. I get it now.  Epiphany number 3 was not having the climb up on the counter to reach the coffee on the top shelf. Awesome.  As I sat there drinking my coffee my thoughts in overdrive.  I was excited and terrified at the same time. Going to run my fingers through my hair--a habit I have while thinking, all I felt was smoothness. I was now…bald. So weird and so freeing at the same time, as now I could totally skip the morning beauty routine.  Heading back upstairs I thought of what I had planned to do today. Knowing that my spa day had to be cancelled, no way that would fly. I decided to heed the Gypsy’s words and experience the day as me as my husband. Trippy. Checking in on him I found him still bewildered and still fascinated with my boobs. Go figure.  

Showered and ready in 15 minutes? How freeing. How awesome. How totally something I could get used to. Getting dressed was interesting though with a minor zipper malfunction and more intense pain.  

I was off.  After cracking my head off the door of my truck and cracking my knees off the steering wheel, I realized the adjustments had to be made. I was now 6 feet tall, strong as an ox and really had no idea how to handle the equipment in my pants.  I felt like I was adjusting that all the time and needed to reassure myself it was still there.  Crazy.  

Epiphany number 4- Being a chick in a big truck I get let out into traffic all the time. As a dude, I waited almost 5 minutes.  Sigh.  Deciding that I definitely needed more coffee I headed up the road to Dunkin’. Me as myself was a regular there. Me as my husband- well should be interesting. First thing I noticed as I always do when I go there, was the hot guy behind the counter. Checking him out as I do every morning I was stunned when he actually checked me out back! Until I realized what that meant and I was crushed. Turning from the counter I accidentally bumped into the guy behind me. Instantly on alert as this guy pulled his shoulders back and glared at me. Sizing me up. As me-getting looked over by a guy is creepy but in my husband’s body it was challenge. Which one of us had the bigger balls? The guy snarled at me to watch where I was going and backed down. Epiphany number 5-- Constantly having to prove my dominance was tiring. 

For the next few hours I simply did my normal Saturday routine. Grocery shopping, Wal-Mart and a working lunch with my laptop. All the while paying close attention to how the world saw me. No one held open a door for me. No one offered to carry my groceries to my truck. The sizing up from other guys was constant. At the restaurant where I go as me often, the usual waitress would not stop chatting me up and flirting. Normally, I can hardly get her to fill my coffee cup, let alone take my order. It was kind of cool though-- being able to order dessert without the look of judgment in her eyes.

  

Returning home I found my husband sitting as me on the couch. Outwardly we both face the same world. As a woman I am constantly having to prove myself and as a man—same thing. As a woman I must pay attention to threats and my surroundings and as a man—same thing. However as a woman-- men often feel the urge to help me, open doors for me and take care of me and as a man—not so much. As a man I was forced to do everything on my own. Constantly prove my strength, not ask for help and pretend to have a confidence I did not have. As a man I was on my own. 

The final epiphany I had was this- Being a man was not as easy as I had always assumed.  As a man I was expected to always be strong, always provide and was judged on my ability to do so. The world cared less about the thoughts in my head and more about how I carried myself. No one looked deeper. No one offered a hand. No one did a single thing for me while I was out and about. Things as a woman I took for granted.  I had a new appreciation for my husband. 

As I reached down to adjust one more time—I woke with a start. 

From the Judges:

First off, I have to say you tell one hell of a story. In the beginning, I was worried that this would be cliche with the gypsy and the waking up in a different body the next day. But your ability to describe things and take us into your head really stand out to me. I loved how you brought the funny with the hard on and the peeing standing up, but then got "soft," if you will, with your perspective on what men really go through in their (our) interactions every day. I found myself saying, "Wow. She gets it." One last point: you have immunity, so this may be moot BUT there are some glaring errors that would not have been in here had you not been rushing to get immunity. It's the double-edged sword of immunity I was talking about. Next week, take your time. Your writing is good enough to get you far.

-Daddy Knows Less

I'm not sure that I can say it any better than DKL did. I really enjoyed the story and felt that you nailed it in a way that I wasn't expecting - however there are definitely some errors that I believe came from rushing. Take your time and proofread more - overall this is really an excellent piece, but the errors just kept popping out at me. Good job!

-Non-Stop Mom

Love how descriptive you were at the beginning. Along the way, I felt like I was reading a draft - because your talent for painting a picture with words dropped off, as though you had spaces to go back and fill in with scenery. I agree with DKL- your writing is beyond good enough to carry you through with out immunity. I look forward to reading more of it.

-Honey Badger Press

I absolutely adored everything about this post minus the whole fair grounds/gypsy bit. I can see why you put it in there, but I think the post would have been just as good without it. To me, that made it sort of cheesy, and had I not been required to finish reading it, I would have just moved on and missed out on what turned out to be a great post with a really good message. Great job.

-Wildflowers & Whimsy

I actually feel the opposite of what the others are saying. I think the beginning was a bit cliche' and left nothing to the imagination. As soon as I saw the title, I knew exactly what the post was going to be about, which can be helpful, but also sets it up for certain expectations.
That said, I do like where you went with the ending, and how being a man for a day helped you gain new appreciation for your husband. To be honest, a couple of the things you mentioned had never occurred to me either.
Lots of typos. Slow down. You could put out a more quality post if you just trust yourself and your ability. Don't be so rushed to get immunity.
Overall good post! 

- Pinwheels and Poppies

I agree with DKL. Nice writing, but a few errors here and there can kill your message. I thought "Very 'Thinner' of you" at the title, but you pulled it off.

-Sooperdad Blog of Awesomeness