“No, Cooper, NO!” I shout, as I clean up the mess covering Addi, “DO NOT projectile vomit on your sister. I have told you over and over again that you can only use your superpower against enemies and your sister is NOT your enemy.”
“Mom, why does he keep doing that to me?” Addi asks.
“Because he is learning, sweetie. He’s only 14 months old and doesn’t know how to control his powers yet.” I answer.
I shake my head in frustration for about the tenth time that day and try to figure out how I’m going to clean up vomit and breakfast in time to drop Addi off at preschool. In addition to that, it’s show and tell day in her classroom and she can’t find the ukulele that her grandfather gave her before he died. “Did you check in your closet?” I ask. She quickly runs into her room, looks all over, but can’t find the musical instrument. I swore I wouldn’t do it, but this seems like an emergency, so I close my eyes, think about the ukulele and put my arms out. Within seconds, the ukulele flies through the air, almost side-swiping my son’s head and lands itself into my arms. My daughter shakes her head at me as I say, “I know, I know, but if you didn’t keep losing things, I wouldn’t have to keep using my power to find them!”
After finally dropping off Addi at school, I look down at my watch and realize we were supposed to meet Matt for a late breakfast. I speed off to the construction site and find him looking over blue prints for the new restaurant his company is building. He greets us with a hug and when he sees Cooper’s mouth begin to open, he firmly puts his hand over it and says, “No, Cooper, No! We don’t puke on Daddy.” I quickly hand him Cooper’s horse toy and as he shoves the toy into his mouth, Cooper smiles at the taste of fake plastic on his teething gums.
Matt asks if I brought his cape because he is meeting some of the guys after work for a drink. “Yes, sweetie, of course.” I answer and laugh at the image of a bunch of old superhero men flying back home after drinking a few too many. I still remember that time he called to say that he was stuck in a neighbor’s magnolia tree because he tried to pee while flying and lost his focus. Public urination while flying is a difficult task to begin with, add a few beers and you have an Olympic-like sport.
After a nice breakfast with the hubby, it’s time to pick Addi up at school. When I walk in the door, I see that Mrs. Benix is waiting by her office looking completely frazzled. She stops me and asks if I could speak with her privately for a moment. She closes the door behind her and says, “It happened again today, Mrs. Herzog.”
Oh crap, I think, I can’t believe she did it again.
She continues by saying, “Addi was playing with her friend Susan when the boys started to make fun of them for playing with dolls. She started to get mad at them, and I tried to get to her in time, but it was too late.”
“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Benix, but uhm… what did she do then?” I ask, dreading the answer.
“Well, the same thing as last time. She turned the boys into Disney Princesses and made them talk about their feelings. She even made them want to play tea party and not kickball with the rest of the boys. You can imagine how upset their fathers were when they came to pick up their sons and they were wearing dresses, lipstick and purses.”
“Oh yes, I’m sure.” I answer.
“Mrs. Herzog, we cannot have this sort of behavior at our school. Your daughter needs to control her powers and use them for good, not for making boys something they aren’t.”
“I understand,” I answer while looking over at the boys whose fathers are ripping off the dresses with great speed and shooting daggers in my direction. “I’ll talk to Addi immediately and make sure that this behavior never happens again.”
I run into the classroom, grab Addi by the arm and dash to my car while covering Cooper’s mouth that is ready to explode at any moment. As I’m putting her in her seat, I ask, “Addi, why did you use your super powers today at school when I told you never to do that?”
She looks up at me, completely confused and says, “I didn’t, Mommy, I swear.”
And as I’m about to say, “Addi, don’t lie to me,” one of the little boys comes over to the car.
“Addi? Maybe sometime we can have a play date and play princesses again?”
She smiles big and says, “Sure, Kenny, but next time I get to wear the tiara, ok?”
I look at her, then him and begin to laugh aloud, that is until a huge shot of projectile vomit hits me right in the face and I realize that now everyone is laughing but me. And unfortunately, there is no superpower that cleans up vomit.
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| "Kenny" - one of Addi's victims... |
From the Judges
When I first started reading, I thought it was going to be all lame, and that your 'super power' was just going to be being a mom, and you were going to talk about all the things that moms had to deal with. But then when you actually showcased your super power, I thought it was awesome. The post went up from there, but then when you posted about your daughters power, it felt a little weak, like you were struggling to think of something. I laughed really hard about the part with your husband peeing and flying though. Overall, I would say that this post doesn't really stand out for me, simply because of the mental work that I had to do to figure out where it was going. Your 'day' flowed well, but the post just didn't seem to.
-Tessa Taboo
What a great superpower! Like a Jedi/lightsaber connection. The flying while peeing story was hilarious, and the projectile vomit struggle throughout the post tied beginning-middle-end together nicely. Addi's superpower was a bit of a stretch, like Tessa said, I was confused as to what the power really was. I liked the post overall, though. Nice work.
-SooperDad Blog of Awesome
I must agree that the flying and peeing story gave me a good laugh. I also liked that there was the element of your little one learning how to use his powers. As a parent trying to teach a non-super-human toddler, I can only imagine the kind of struggle it would be to teach a kid how to use a super power.
But, overall, I have to agree with others that it just didn't stand out to me.
-The Spaghetti Westerner
This was really cute, but honestly not my favorite post of yours. I actually thought the vomiting was funny!
-Mommy in Law
This was a cute story, and I loved your super power. I'll have to agree with my fellow judges in that the story of your day had a flow to it, but elements of this post were a bit lackluster. I get that toddlers puke, but will that always be his super power? Will he grow out of it and take on something else? And what exactly was your daughter's super power? Turning boys into Disney princesses? It seemed a bit like you were writing to the photo at the end of the post instead of using photos to enhance the writing.
-From the Bungalow
While I am completely jealous of your superpower, the projectile vomiting did not work for me. There is just nothing super about vomit. I am still trying to figure out exactly what Dad and Addi's powers are, but the flying while peeing was a hilarious picture. This post didn't really stand out for me as a whole, but parts were great.
-You Know It Happens At Your House Too (Guest Judge)
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